Ambiguous Loss

We are all in a state of shock and ambiguous loss right now. We have lost the way that our lives were structured, the safety that we felt in our communities, in physical contact with one another, in our routines. Many of us are grieving, many of us feel lost, many of us don’t know where the next step is.

I want to remind you that this is okay, with COVID going around and feeling this existential trauma that we are all going through we are going to feel a little lost. We truly are moving through a time of ambiguous loss, a loss that is hard to describe and doesn’t feel like reality a lot of times.

Here is what I remind people of in times of loss
– Everyone grieves differently, you may feel mad, shut out, the need to numb, sad, or simply confused.

– Start to work on understanding the things that you have lost in this time, this will help you work towards leaning into and moving through some of the loss

– Know that judgement towards yourself and others in this time will feel like healing at the moment, though it just perpetuates our own pain. The fewer stones that we can throw and the more kindness we can give, to others and ourselves, the healthier we will be.

– Try to keep up your self-care and routine, also let yourself have the down days. None of us know fully how to move through these uncertain times and we will all have to find our own ways of doing so.

– Being in this state of loss is likely going to bring up past loss, grief that needs more attention and past trauma & fight/flight/freeze responses. Again work not to judge them but to be curious about them, try to give self – compassion where you can.

– Lastly, reach out. Many therapists are providing additional financial support to those who are struggling due to job loss or a cut in hours, insurances have offered to cover telehealth. This is a time where we need to lean in more than ever.

Please remember, there is support, there is light, we can work together to embody it,
Patrice Flanagan-Morris, LCSW

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