Knowing your values, knowing yourself

What are your top values? It’s a question we often hear in interviews, workplaces and other roles that often require us to show up and do our best for someone else.

I want you to see how knowing your values can impact your own life and ultimately how you show up for you. When we know our values and align with them in our day to day activities, as well as the more challenging moments and decisions in life, we are able to live more confidently, happy and strong.

1. Values help lead us in making decisions, especially ones that are challenging, in a way that resembles who we want to be. If we know them, they can help us react in situations in our best interest. ⁣

2. Often guiding our lives by our values leads to more fulfillment and peace. Reacting and not following our values often leads to irritation, frustration and discontent. ⁣

3. Values help you determine and prioritize what’s important in life so we are able to create more balance. ⁣

If you look at my home page you will see I point out my values from the start. For me, owning these values helps guide me daily on each decision that I make with clients and for myself. Simple questions like: Can I take on this new client?, encourage me to look at my values prior to making a decision. It is easy to point to a quick yes or no. With my value of accountability, this question is more loaded. Can I take on this person and be accountable for their care? Can I schedule regular appointments? Do I have the emotional capacity to show up for this person the way they deserve? Will this impact how I am able to show up for those already in my care? Will this put a strain on my ability to take care of myself?

Using a values check in helps me make decisions like those above. While at times they may lead to short term uncomfortable conversations, like letting someone know I am not going to be a good fit, they mean that I remain true to myself leading me to feel more connected and happy. This also means that I am also able to be more present with the clients I already have and overall less resentful and irrtable in the long run.

Often times when we are in a place of resentment or defensiveness it is because we have not stayed true to our values. If I do not run through my accountability questions it would be easy for me to take on too many people. Ultimately I wouldn’t be able to give my 100% to each person I see, my self care would dwindle and it would be easy to feel resentful towards anyone that put me in a “bad mood”.

Trust me, we have all had moments like this, it’s easy to blame those around us. In reality, it is often not knowing, following and setting boundaries around our values that cause these feelings. That’s the hard truth, it is solely up to us to follow our own values to live a fulfilled life.

Following your values can seem overwhelming. We all want the quick answer and often follow values that we “should” have rather than the values that we actually align with.

So, I encourage you to check out a list of values like the one I posted below. Read through these. Pick 10 that resonate, then dwindle your list down to 3. Really look at the words you are choosing and ask yourself why they are important to you? What do they mean to you in every aspect of your life: home, family, friends, works, personal.

So, here is your last step after you have your values and understand what they look like in each avenue of your list: put them into action.

However you need to remember your values so that you consistently check in with them around your expectations of yourself is crucial. I have mine up at home and in the office, places I check every day. It helps me be intentional about how I am showing up.

I also want you to remember, there will be times that you act outside of your values. It’s important to remember we are all human, own when you have done this, make repairs as much as you can without sacrificing yourself, and understand what drove you to act outside of these values.

Often time, for myself and most of the people I work with, when we act outside of our values it is because we were triggered by something in our past, whether this be conscious or subconscious. If you notice that after you go through this list you are struggling with putting it into action or that there are many times you are acting outside of these values, it may be a sign that there would be benefit to working with someone who is able to help you align with what you believe in for yourself.

Comment below or reach out for support in finding someone to help you align with your values!

Patrice Flanagan-Morris

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