Metathesiophobia– the intense fear of change, which can be rooted in our desire to keep life in a comfortable and consistent space.
Do you have a fear of change?
Slow it down and take an honest look at yourself. Having a fear of change is common but easily overlooked, you might just label yourself as “unmotivated”, “anxious” or “negative”. Some common signs surrounding fear of change might look like:
- Feelings of anxiety over shifts in daily routines and feeling unsettled
- Experiencing anticipatory anxiety (anxiety before the change occurs and worrying how it will change your life)
- Avoidance of new experience/connections, even if it could bring potential/benefits
- Negative thoughts and what-if thoughts
- Procrastination, which is a lot of time around anxiety surrounding something
- Overthinking which can be linked to perfectionistic traits
- Physical symptoms (racing heart, sweating, fatigue)
Many of us fear change or are uncomfortable with it. And it’s normal to experience some discomfort, however, did you know that change is actually good for our brains? It allows new neuropathways (pathways in our brain which neurons send messages) in our brain to form, creating more expansion and resilience opportunities, aka, growth. This growth is called neuroplasticity and allows our brains to adapt to our environments.
Our brains typically don’t love change
And one of the brains purposes is to keep us safe by recognizing patterns and maintaining consistency. However, change is inevitable, and the more we can prepare for it, the more we can cultivate a growth mindset, and adapt to it easier.
To begin to tackle the fear of change, we must understand when it is appropriate. The signs for needing a change can look like, having constant dissatisfaction with something, lack of purpose, stagnant routines or even lack of excitement. If you feel any of the above, then it sounds like change might be helpful to you, and that you have been allowing your fear to control having new experiences.
As quoted from Esther Perel in Mating in Captivity (2007), “And what is true for human beings is true for every living thing: all organisms require alternating periods of growth and equilibrium. Any person or system exposed to ceaseless novelty and change risks falling into chaos; but one that is too rigid or static ceases to grow and eventually dies. This never-ending dance between change and stability is like the anchor and the waves.”
As Perel notes, our lives are meant to look like shifting anchors and waves, moving from periods of change to periods of equilibrium.
So, when we want to tackle change, what are the steps in conquering our fear?
When thinking about tackling our fear of change, it can help to look at how the change might benefit us. Name these things, even listing them can be helpful to see new opportunities and growth this can bring. Ask yourself: Will the change help your confidence levels? Maybe it help with resiliency and enhanced well-being? Will this change help improve relationships with ourselves/others?
- Identify the fear of change. Fear of change can oftentimes be a long-linked pattern from family or system patterns, especially if change was perceived as a threat or disruptive. Having awareness of some of these patterns can make the adjustment more recognizable and manageable.
- Think about other times in your life where you overcame change. How did it go? What was/wasn’t helpful in this process?
- Set SMART goals- small, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound goals. Start small in the change process and create realistic expectations for yourself.
- Practice reframing your challenges and reframing judgmental and what-if thoughts. Are these thoughts real? What evidence do you have to suggest these thoughts. Remember, our fear comes out to protect us and can shape some of our thoughts in the process. Talk back to these thoughts. For example, if you have the thought of “what if I fail with this new job?” You can reframe it to “Well what if I succeed?”
- Surround yourself with support systems of friends/family/positive people/pets which are encouraging to you.
- Let go of perfectionism. Nobody is perfect, and there is always room for growth. This change is a symbol of your strength, and it doesn’t have to look perfect
- Practice affirming thoughts to believe in yourself, and be mindful of even small changes, pivots and attempts.
Be kind to yourself! Change is tough, but if you allow yourself to move through the discomfort, you will have created resiliency and so much growth for yourself!
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