By: Anna Kraft, LPC
When you feel connected with your partner, it’s one of the most grounding, comforting feelings. You feel seen, understood, and like you can truly exhale. There’s space for laughter, shared glances, quiet presence, and those meaningful conversations that remind you: we’re in this together.
But I also know that even in strong relationships, it’s normal to go through moments — or even seasons — of disconnection. Maybe lately you’ve felt like you’re just passing by each other, more like roommates than partners. Conversations might feel transactional. Time together might feel rushed or distracted. And deep down, there’s a quiet ache for the closeness you used to share.
If you’re finding yourselves here — missing each other, feeling distant, unsure how to get back to one another — I want you to know that it’s okay. It doesn’t mean anything is broken. It means something in your relationship is needing care and attention.
Here are a few places I often invite couples to begin when they want to reconnect:
1. Close Your Exits
We all have subtle ways of checking out when things feel hard — maybe it’s working late, diving into a hobby, scrolling on your phone, or keeping your conversations limited to logistics. These are what I call “exits” — ways we emotionally step out of the relationship even when we’re physically still in it.
If either of you have been leaning on those exits, it’s not something to feel ashamed of. It’s usually just a sign that something feels too uncomfortable, overwhelming, or tender to face head-on. But reconnection asks us to slowly start closing those exits and turning toward each other again — even if it’s just for a few moments a day.
2. Create Intentional Time Together
I know life gets full. It’s easy to go days or weeks without truly being present with each other. But when you intentionally set aside time — not to solve problems, but simply to be together — you create space for something new to emerge.
You don’t need a grand gesture or a weekend away. Try a short walk after dinner. A no-phones evening. A game you both enjoy. Something that helps you shift from “doing” mode into “being” mode. These small moments can open up big doors.
3. Practice Empathy
Empathy is about trying to really get each other — not just what’s being said on the surface, but what’s going on underneath. And I get it — when things feel distant, it can be hard to be curious. You might feel protective, shut down, or resentful.
But if you can begin to ask each other, “What’s really going on for you right now?” or “What do you need most from me today?” — and then listen with an open heart — it can shift the dynamic in powerful ways. You might be surprised at what comes up when the space feels safe enough to be real.
4. Lean Into Vulnerability
Vulnerability is scary — especially if you’ve felt rejected, dismissed, or alone in the past. But it’s also the key to closeness. It’s how we show our partner the parts of us we usually protect. It’s saying, “I miss you,” instead of acting irritated. Or “I need more support,” instead of bottling it up.
The truth is, most disconnection starts when we stop letting each other in. And reconnection begins when one of you takes that first gentle step toward openness. It doesn’t have to be perfect — just honest.
This Isn’t About Fixing — It’s About Rebuilding
Reconnection doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, consistency, and sometimes support from someone outside the relationship. But if you’re both willing to show up with curiosity and care, there is so much possibility here.
If you find yourselves stuck — repeating the same patterns or struggling to feel heard — couples counseling can offer a space to slow down and find each other again.
In our work together, I’ll help you:
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Understand what’s been getting in the way of closeness
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Practice having real, open, non-defensive conversations
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Navigate fear, resentment, and the hard stuff with more compassion
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Build trust and safety — not just for your partner, but for yourself, too
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Learn how to share the emotional load, instead of carrying it all alone
My hope is to help both of you feel more seen, supported, and emotionally safe — not only when things are easy, but especially when they’re not.
If you’re ready to reconnect, I’m here to walk alongside you.
