When Did I Lose My Authenticity?
Authenticity is a big buzz right now, so many resources to be your “authentic self.” But if you don’t know where you lost it – how can you find it?
Authenticity is a big buzz right now, so many resources to be your “authentic self.” But if you don’t know where you lost it – how can you find it?
Without understanding what is underneath them, a New Year’s Resolution can hold us back from growth.
Being authentic seems like it should be easy. We aren’t taught how to be ourselves. We are taught how to be what other people need. So we adapt and become like chameleons.
Self-compassion is a hard concept to grasp. There are many schools of thought when it comes to what self-compassion is vs. what it isn’t. The first thing to address is understanding the difference between self-indulgence, self-compassion, and self-pity.
Take time to learn more about perfectionism, where it comes from, and how it shows up. There is a short segment at the end of this video discussing how Brainspotting can support you in working through and out of your perfectionism.
Attunement revolves around your ability to connect and sense what is happening within your client. Attunement in the general public can be knowing what your partner needs before they ask, sensing that a friend is down even if they put a smile on.
“Trust yourself” is a common phrase people use – telling you to follow your intuition or gut. Listen to yourself about what you should do next or where you should go. Trusting ourselves isn’t so easy when we haven’t been taught that we are trustworthy.
Making a change in our lives is not as simple as mainstream media would like to make us believe. We can know we need to stop people-pleasing or start setting boundaries. We can know that we should feel good enough about ourselves but still have the voice in the back of our heads that says we aren’t.
We need to learn to move from a place of motivation from criticism to motivation from self-compassion. People use self-criticism as a “motivator.” If we are our own worst critic then we will push ourselves farther. Unfortunately, that’s not the truth and in reality, actually holds us back.
Positive Affirmations are common right now. Many people preach affirmations and swear by their effectiveness to support overall self-esteem. However, more times than not when I sit across from a client they tell me a secret: “I try those affirmations, but they don’t seem to make a difference.”
“Where you look affects how you feel” is the motto of the Brainspotting community. It is all about the understanding that we orient where we look towards pleasure and pain. Our eyes are connected to the survival system within our brains, it’s essential for our safety.
As you move into your learning zone and gain trust that you will know where the line of unnecessary risk is, your comfort and learning zones grow. In turn, you can push yourself a little farther, find and take more opportunities you didn’t know existed, and create more space to find and be who you are.