Achievable Self-Care for Moms
By: Kala Gattuso, LCSW
With the joys of motherhood, it can also be downright difficult, affecting our mental, physical, emotional, developmental, and social well-being. We often worry if we are “doing it right,” wondering if our children are following their developmental stages, managing feeding schedules, and sometimes sleeping. All of this while navigating work with home-life balance, continuing to keep family and partner relationships strong, all while often forgetting to fit in some self-care for ourselves, so we don’t lose ourselves and our identity.
Why Is It So Hard To Do Self-Care After Having a Baby?
Women are now increasingly combining work and family roles, with a continued societal pressure for motherhood, including how to eat, sleep, how to breastfeed, pressure on losing the baby weight, being successful at work, and having a happy marriage, while always putting baby first.
All the above stressors plus a lack of time for self-care often lead to parental burnout (emotional and physical exhaustion), which can lead to distancing from our children, reduced feelings of parental accomplishment, as well as sleep problems and partner conflict.
First, Take a Breath, You Are Doing Fantastic, Mama!
So, what can we do to avoid burnout?
Practicing self-care might seem like a simple task but initiating it and practicing/maintaining it can be difficult. This may look different for each mom and is determined by what each mom needs- ranging from a nap, scheduling needed appointments, reconnecting with friends, spending time with herself to reconnect, exercising, or even taking a shower.
Some important aspects of creating self-care activities for yourself are;
Setting realistic goals.
Incorporating these activities into your schedule on a weekly/daily basis, and keeping consistency.
Make sure you are implementing activities that you enjoy, little or big!
Don’t feel bad for making “You” time! You deserve it!
It may be difficult but try not to compare yourself and your self-care goals to others, you are unique, and what other people need may be different.
Know that it’s okay to ask yourself what you truly need, lean in, and listen hard – just like you would for your child. Are there things you used to enjoy that you put off for a while?
Self-Care Activities To Consider
Take a long bath
Read a book (even just a chapter!)
Meet with a friend for coffee/lunch
Start a self-gratitude journal of the things you are thankful for
Practice mindfulness, and enjoying the present moment, with yourself, taking breathing breaks
Go for a walk, spend time in nature, or just step outside
Take a nap! Sleep deprivation can lead to mental and physical ailments, so fit this in when you can (this may be difficult, but take the opportunity to nap when baby does)
Find a new hobby!
Feeling emotional after having a baby is normal, but having increased feelings of anxiety, ruminating thoughts or intense feelings of sadness or loss of interest are all signs of perinatal mood disorders, which can all be treated with a combined regimen, including therapy. YOU matter, and self-care and time for yourself is important! If you are finding that your mental health is conflicting with the ability to care for self, there is help available!