When the negative thoughts are too loud.
By Kendra Bittner, LPC
Running has always been one of my outlets in life. On days where I have felt overwhelmed, anxious, or grief-filled I’ve always been able to turn to running. I feel more grounded and gain clarity in challenging moments.
During my most recent half marathon and throughout my training for this race I had a lot of time to reflect. I choose to forgo music this time around. This allowed me to be more present and mindful of my body, thoughts, and surroundings.
It wasn’t always easy;
It wasn’t always pleasant and there were plenty of times when I wanted to stop or give up. Sometimes old beliefs surfaced saying, “I can’t do this,” “I’m not the runner I used to be,” and “I’m so much slower than everyone else.”
My relationship with running has continued to evolve over the years and it’s always something I come back to if I fall out of it.
To run long-distance you can’t just be physically prepared, but mentally prepared as well.
You’ve experienced negative thoughts and doubts. Sometimes we even let these thoughts get in the way of being our authentic selves and living life to the fullest. Working with these negative thoughts means we have to first acknowledge them, allow space for them and create understanding. We so often want to just bypass them because they are painful. Pushing them away or telling ourselves we shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts might help in the short term. But almost always will make these thoughts more intense and consistent in the long term.
During the race there were moments these thoughts popped in. Had I tried to push through and ignore them, they would have dragged me down. Trust me, I’ve tried it before, try to learn from my mistakes. But this race, as they popped up I simply acknowledged them.
Just because the thoughts are there, doesn’t mean they run the show;
It’s just a thought. My body was hurting. I still had a few miles to run and that became overwhelming. I focused in, I found a small space in my body that felt calm amidst all the pain and sank into it. I leaned into nurturing, and told myself, “it’s understandable you want to give up, we can slow down if we need to and focus on one mile at a time.” I kept telling myself, “you got this!” I needed my own support as much as I was getting it from my co worker who seemed to have all the energy and light in these moments I was struggling. I didn’t magically feel great but I was able to focus on what was right in front of me instead of all the miles I had left. One moment at a time, one mile at a time, one foot in front of the other, and keep going.
Life will have challenging moments, and sometimes those moments are longer than we would like
You don’t have to do it alone and you shouldn’t have to. You deserve to be a part of your support system, not your critics. Focusing on the negative and doubt makes these challenging times even harder. Acknowledging them, nurturing and then pivoting helps you move through the challenges with less suffering. All that matters is that you come out on the other side, and you cross that finish line.